Happiness

Everyone can be happy if and only if we truly desire for it. This being my sole aim in life, I am going to aspire and perspire for only that. Happiness is just a mental state, its a state that is wilfully obtained and never gained by any event or possession. Its never going to come to me, I have to find it...in myself. And I am on a journey to find a few things that matter the most to me right now in my life.

What I am going to do to be happy -

-Shut out all the thoughts that cause me pain, no I dont have to always deal with it.

-Smile...smile from within...smile to greet every new day, smile because things will get better.

-Breakdown and cry if I must. I want to wash away the pain from my soul.

-Treat myself by doing atleast one thing that I love every single day-eating, painting, reading, sleeping,writing,cooking...whatever it may be. (I think I am doing all of them right now).

-Give more attention to people who truly care for me and let them into my life, I am going to care less about the people 'I' truly care for. The former is more beneficial.

-Let go. Let go of people, let go of hope and let go of expectations (expectations of apologies, explanations, change).

-Continue being sarcastic to the mean ones, it gives me pleasure.

-Hurt back the ones who hurt me, this gives me more pleasure.

I see myself treading the path of selfishness

If this path is the only way to happiness, so shall it be.

Just listing down

What I havent seen in him

Jealousy
Possessiveness (Now I am wondering if he loves me enough......)
Irrationality
Impracticality (he is more practical than what is called for)
Immaturity
Optimism about relationships

What I like about him

He doesnt crib
He trusts me
He is honest with me
He still manages to surprise me
He believes in me
He corrects me
He listens :-)

and his laugh....

Men vs Women

I sometimes think that men lead a much less complicated life! Yes, this is one more of the 'men-women comparison/why men are like this' posts...

They are less complex and are incapable of complex thoughts. Linking some event of the present to somehting that happened a long time back, thoughts like 'Why hasnt she called me yet, is she angry with me'? never occur to them. They are a bunch who are happy in their own world of sports, studies, food, beer, music, television and pornography...

A girlfriend is a part of their life, not their life itself. Whereas for a girl, a boyfriend constitutes just about the whole world, everything she thinks of or feels is either related to him or she eventually ends up relating. All the romantic stirring moments when she watches the moon or is on a beach at night, whats does she think? "I wish he was here with me to share it all...."! When she is sad....."where are you? I need you to support me". When she is happy...."where are you? I am soo happy and you arent around to share it, whats the use?" All her time and thoughts are wasted away on yearning for him. When does she truly enjoy life for herself? Why does she always need someone? Men are prefectly happy even if they dont get to share any part of their lives or events with women. (Ok, now this is turning more into a 'why are women like this' kinda post)

Men are sensible. They have a hold on their emotions. Or do they? Well, they most certainly appear to. They hide their emotions and dont go around complaining about their problems. They dont make anyone's lives around them miserable. They can be going through a heartbreak and still enjoy a game of football. They dont think 'this is the end of the world' no matter what the problem is. And even if they have just said goodbye to their sweetheart, they can always fall all over in love afresh with some sweet girl who walks into their life.

I think I like men!

All about literature

I just visited the blog of a poet. Its not easy to write something that you have not experienced, especially poetry. It might not be too difficut to write a story, but to write a poem that expresses every emotion.. making you feel like the poet has endured it himself...to bring that out without experiencing it is an art.

According to Oscar Wilde, About 'Art' -

"It is the spectator, and not life, that art really mirrors".

"We can forgive a man for making a useful thing as long as he does not admire it. The only excuse for making a useless thing is that one admires it immensely".

"All art is quite useless"

Right now, I am in an 'Appreciation of Literature' mood. Currently, reading one of the classics by Oscar Wilde (The picture of Dorain Gray)...he is superb! Not just his choice of words, but the ideas he represents, about men, about society, it makes you think. And I must say this book requires a great deal of attention and time, you will never enjoy it if you read it like a Sidney Sheldon Novel! Every sentence, every word, the actual meaning of it all has to be absorbed to be able to appeciate it and fall in love with this classic.

There is some kind of a peace within when I am reading such books. I remember the same feeling coming back to me what I had felt when I read one of Jane Austen's novels. It transforms me into this person I havent met before, this person I dont understand, into something very strange, but I like that person. She is calm, content and happy. She feels she is doing something worthwhile with her days...and she is living her life.

An excerpt from the book...

"Beauty, real beauty ends where an intellectual expression begins. Intellect is in itself a mode of exaggeration, and destroys the harmony of any face. The moment one sits down to think, one becomes all nose, or all forehead, or something horrid. Look at the successful men in any of the learned professions. How pefectly hideous they are! Except of course in the Church. But then in the Church they don't think. A Bishop keeps on saying at the age of eighty what he was told to say at the age of eighteen, and as a natural consequence he always looks absolutely delightful".

I dont need to say anything further, for if there is anyone who really appreciates a classic, he will know what I am talking about.

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yeild to it"! - Oscar Wilde

(With a book filled with thoughts like these, the society revolted against the book when it was first published and it had to be revised. Sadly, Oscar Wilde went behind bars and came out penniless, hopeless and wandered around finally dying within a few months).

Stopping Midway to think

July first....We are already halfway through this year.

It seems just a few days back when my sweetheart was in town and we celebrated my birthday together. Its been more than 6 months! Seems like just a few days back when he called me on New year's eve and wished me a wonderful and exciting year ahead, promised me we will do all those things in our 'To do Together' list....the list is only getting longer by the day...and not one of it has been striked out till now!

It seems just a few days back when Sups messaged to inform she got the visa and then it sunk into me that she is leaving....it seems just a few days back that we (our college gang) went for a trip...which was to be the last :(

And it seems just a few days back that I went to that wild party and silently cried at the strike of 12, because there was noone who hugged me first to wish new year!

Time flies by and it seems just a few days back that I decided to do something about my weight, but its been six months and I havent learnt what control is! :P