Day Dreams

Quite blank these days...the mind. Apart from day dreaming, I am doing quite a few things that I enjoy.

Talking about day dreams, I was recollecting the various situations and stories I have made up in my head, rather dreamed of...and I just realized that they have all come true! These are not dreams which are beyond my control, but dreams 'I' weave in my consciousness. Thoughts that I think of, scenes I make up in my head. It is possibly the most freakiest feeling when u realize that what you think of can actually happen! You gain a huge amount of control over your life. It becomes quite important now to actually think of the consequences before I weave these stories. What scares me more is that even though this is centered around me, I have references to people I know in my stories and what happens to them in the story actually happens to them in real life. I know it is hard to believe for anyone, but I am right now choosing to ignore this so that I can live in peace. I cannot stop dreaming because it so much an integral part of me, I would be left with a huge loss. I know that is where I can retreat to when I am uncomfortable or bored or angry or sad, because my world always keeps me happy. It makes me go through all the tests of pain in life, but its my story and it always has a happy ending (though I cant remember a single story which I have chosen to end). If I look at the various events around me, I can relate everything to all these different scenes I have already thought of at one point of time or the other!

This is probably one more of those things that people will never believe...just like the time I said I could mentally communicate with animals! (Ohh I did realize that I couldnt afterall after a few weeks)!

"Of all the things I've lost I miss my mind the most" - Ozzy

Train Journeys

Its been a while since I travelled by train. The last time I went, it caused some strain on my mental and physical health. Since I was travelling alone and I didnt want to fall asleep, it was quite a fight between the body and the mind. The only reason I had mustered the courage for that was because that was the only way (not really, I could have booked a day train for the 6 hr journey) to be back in someone's arms.

Apart from one particular event, I have loved travelling by train and it was always fun with a huge family circle making so much noise, playing cards and cracking the most horrible jokes! One of the usual events used to be a fight between my brother and me for the seat by the window. There was this time when we took our dog by train and by the 'rule' (to give in to the younger one's wishes), both of us had to let him sit there by the window (with his nose butting out) to stop all the yelling (sorry, barking) and fuss he was creating!

The 40 something hours of travel from Delhi to Mangalore during the summer hols was quite a pain. After fighting, threatening and also trying to bribe my brother, none of which would work in getting to sit by the window, I would normally go to the upper berth and lie down with a novel. The other reason for that was to avoid the crowd that had these deep stares for me just coz I was a girl. Atleast, in a particularly painful position up there, you could hide away from the stares of most of them!

Imagine this...u are so close to reaching your destination after a filthy travel of almost 2 sweaty days...and there has been some confusion with the schedules of crossings! So...the result: we reach 6 hours late! And it was those days when you unconditionally loved all your relatives, so I was really upset that we reached so late coz one of my uncles was leaving the same night!

Some of the things are so typical that anyone who has travelled in trains in India would be able to relate to it. Like, the unbearable stench of the bathrooms after a day of travel, the water supply dissapearing (and having to run to the other end of the compartment to wash hands), railway employees carrying the chai coffee canteens, churmuri, peanuts, cold drink sellers..., someone waking you up to ask if you want to order the night's meals, buttermilk packets, a bunch of guys always hanging out at the end of a compartment sitting near the door, families opening dabbas of food and snacks, kids crying (this one has to be there when I travel).

I think two of the the best things about those journeys were...one...I loved looking out the window feeling the wind on my face and see the sceneries and the daylight change colours. Second...it was probably the only time when I actually sat and talked to my parents! Back home, mom and I were always pissed with each other and would have sworn never to talk to each other! It was so much fun playing games and chatting with them on the train, the value of which I realize only now.

I have so many more memories linked to train journeys that I could write atleast another 7 paragraphs (I did count the events in my head before coming up with that number!), but I wont.

The reason I went about thinking of train journeys was because, right now someone close to the heart is sitting in one and enduring the almost 2 days long journey back to his home. :-)

To Do Lists

Almost the whole world has a "to do list".
Everyone these days seems to want to --


--Lose some weight (everyone wants to exercise, but never finds the time to)

--Learn to play guitar! - almost everyone who doesnt know how to play an instrument always is saying I need to join guitar classes, why not some other instrument?

--Learn French - why is it always French? Why not lebanese or Chinese or arabic?

--Do volunteer work for the poor/disabled

-- Improve in time management (Everyone is talking about how they need to find some time to do all the things they wanted to do )

--Go on an Europe tour (This one is on top of the list! Why not kenya or something?)

--Dance like nobody is watching

--Take life less seriously

Well, I never said I am not one among everyone!

When I walked in

An empty house, a cluttered hallway, a blank wall, new furniture...strange feelings...changes...sigh...

Break ups

I hear my friend tell me she broke up coz he was being a total Ass.

And I wondered...Has a guy ever broken up because he cudnt take anymore crap from 'her'?