Thought

I was thinking about how when we are younger, we deny that we crave for attention and half the stupid things we do are because of the same reason, while now, after reaching a more mature (no comments encouraged for this word coming from me) age, we are more comfortable about accepting things like these. And its funny that I don't even want as much attention or approval anymore.

Hmm...That is all I was thinking about.

New Look of the Blog

BLACK

Reason?

Black is beautiful
Black is suave
Black is sexy
Recently heard Black saves energy (visit www.blackle.com/about)
And of course because I love Black

Blah Blah Blah

This is a totally random post because first I want to talk about how half the reason I came back into blogging was the need for attention from all the random people who used to read my blog earlier and then now I am going to tell you how much I miss the bandi wala near my old house in Vidyaranyapura (B'lore) who used to make amazing unique chats with things like nippat, peanuts, biscuits, kodbale, kurkure and what not.

Man! Is that like a long sentence or a long sentence! I have this habit of trying to put everything into one sentence. One of my friend's friend had a bad time figuring out what the heck I was trying to say over phone. Since it was the first time (and the last till now) we ever spoke to each other, he just politely (didn't seem to me then) asked me to repeat (twice) and then let it go (by just handing the phone over to my friend without any warning).

That's another habit of mine...the whole bracket thing to express my opinion about every word here and there in the long sentences, the whole thing just leading to an even more confusing piece of writing. Not to mention the growing physical length of these sentences owing to the ellipses...

See, there I go again!

Anyway, I didn't even remember to go there (to the chat place, I lost track when I re-read it too) this winter when I was back home. I loved my house there and my current house doesn't measure up to it in anyway. I wish we had stayed on there and I still had Minchu (my cat, ya I really don't know why I named him that, btw that means lightning) and the shoe flower tree and the small patch of lavender lilies in the driveway and the huge terrace (seriously, I hate US for not having houses with terrace) and the compound and the gate on which Minchu used to (cat)walk and the mesh on which passion fruit ivy grew. Not to mention the much calmer roads and easily accessible stores.

But, I definitely do not miss the lizards. If I have to be thankful for my new house, thats probably the only thing. I do not miss them falling on me or jumping out of the cloth I used to remove off my comp. The only person who enjoyed them was Minchu because he had loads of fun trying to chase them by running after them on the floor or trying to climb walls or even assume that he can fly up to the tube light to get one of them! Of course I had fun watching him perform his amazing (unachievable) feats and then look at me with innocent disappointed eyes.

I just realized that most of my posts are about the past and how much I miss certain things...sigh...have to learn to live in the present!!

And oh ya...about the first thing I started off about, what I wanted to say was that I am desperate, so please comment. (Atleast I'll know somebody noticed I am back)

Old things

When I go through the list of things that need to be done, I can only see the list growing and absolutely nothing getting ticked off. So many years of making these small chits of paper where I write down every small little single thing that needs to be done (I think the only things I skip are brushing teeth, eating food, bathing and sleeping, which probably explains why I skip bath once in a while) hasn't taught me that they are quite useless.

The more you pen down, the more it gets erased out of your memory and just boils down to a function of how often you look at the list and how willing are you to act on any one of them right away, because again, after a couple of hours, its all gone from the head.

When the semester ended, I was cleaning up my book shelf and I found a couple of them among my papers. I even found one list that had the names of all the people to call before I left India which was one and a half years ago! The best part is I remembered the day I had made that list. My best friend had come home to spend some time with me and she had offered to help by writing down the names for me while I was going insane with the amount of things that needed to be done. And when I look at that list, it reminds me of her lying down lazily on my bed with two pillows up against the wall and the countless memories we had revived and were laughing about, ad mist me freaking of course!

And, so the list went back among the endless pieces of papers I have preserved, either because they have the handwriting of a loved one or because they have ring sizes drawn which were taken without their knowledge, or because my name appeared along with someone else I had a crush on in one of the school official announcements or simply because those gibberish written words remind me of a particular phase of life.

While my mom used to threaten to throw away all the junk I collect, I discovered a big old leather bag in the attic which had all of my mom's memories on paper!! Greeting cards, letters, postcards and photographs that she didn't want to share. All she does is give me a sheepish smile and then I knew where I had got this habit of collecting things.

And still, it was required to give strict clear warnings to people at home about handling all my stuff before I was leaving. I was quite glad and relieved to see everything intact when I went home for vacations this year.

Of course, I scooped up a few more things and transported them here. Obviously, they are absolutely safe only with me!

Language Struggles

One of my friends struggles to learn Hindi. Even though my room mate tries to be very (very very) patient with him when he comes up with broken incomprehensive sentences (can hardly call them sentences)...both of us eventually burst out laughing.

"Tum kahan maine gaadi kab laa rahe ho" (you say mine vehicle when getting) - This is what he came up with after a full 5 minutes of thinking!

It was absolutely impossible to find out what he was trying to say. Now, after he told us what it was...which was "usne kahan ki uski gaadi kab aayegi" (she asked when she is going to get her vehicle/car), how could anyone stop oneself from laughing!!!

Makes up for a boring Friday afternoon.

Weekend Trip

First beach visit in US was a huge disappointment. Except for fancy names and fantastic descriptions, there was nothing more there. It looked like a miniature model of a beach, only, a bad replica.

The view was cut by a small piece of land big enough to block what I was hoping to stare into - endlessness. The beach from the road to the water was short, the sand was coarse, the water murky and the one thing that marks a sea, waves...were missing!! It was a man made tank of water with sand sprinkled around it.

So much for Pleasure Bay!

And I remembered and missed my hometown with its beautiful lonely untouched beach. And the evenings spent by the gate watching the light house shine its light turn by turn in each of the four directions. To imagine that the beautiful house might not be there when I go back is just so painful.